My transition from "Kim Bowles" to "Traci Kimone" to "Kimberly Jessy"

   My Life has been an ever Evolvement! I have seen alot and done alot and OVERCAME ALOT..

I Am using this blog as a fresh reminder of where I came from FROM MY LIPS..Not anyone else's after all it is my LIFE..

I grew up in a small town in Western Massachusetts. After coming to the USA at the age of 4 from Panama City Panama, I grew up in the urban part of the city. It was a difficult transition because I always found myself trying to fit in WITH THE WRONG PEOPLE. I never felt like I belonged where I grew up. Spanish was my first language, so when I came to Massachusetts, I did not fit in I WAS BLACK, The Black kids did not accept me cause I spoke Spanish. The Hispanic kids did not accept me because I WAS BLACK, so where in Gods name do I fit in? I always found myself having to make my OWN way, never fitting in a pack or group of people but making my own way. 

I always had a fire that I would  not LOSE ever or take NO for an answer. I was a force and still am a force to be reckoned with. I live life in a way that I SIMPLY Won't lose. Once I make a decision that someone is my enemy and trying to hurt me, GAME ON. Not only will I protect myself I will beat them at their OWN LYING GAME. I always did.

Eventually you get tired of that game and it's time to play a new game, a game of INTEGRITY, PEACE, HONOR RESPECT. I was a rebellious teenager. I grew up in a very strict Evangelical Republican Home. I attended private school for bit. The typical "black girl" (not African American)  which was not in my upbringing. African Americans were in my surroundings but not in my home or values or upbringing. I knew about slavery, studied it, but it was never me or my families story.

Working and making a living and keeping a job and going to church was our story as dysfunctional as they were, they got up every day and went to work, so I learned those values. However we were poor and I did not get along with my mom so as a teen I developed the "You have to do, what you gotta do to survive" mentality, thus a delinquent came forward, coupled with shoplifting, delinquent boyfriends, kicked out of school and a baby..I lived the total opposite of what I grew up knowing and being a Republican. I went Democrat, totally. I wanted liberation and freedom, sort of anything goes living, to an extent. It did not matter if anyone was gay, straight, black, white, or whatever as long as they were cool I did not give a damn. I still don't. However my trouble came in two ways.

1. Not listening to myself, betraying myself, betraying my body, and intuition

2. Not living in alignment with my values.

I never clarified my values tho. I knew I liked monognomy, and honor and reliability. Yet I attracted the worst filthiest cheating men, the best liars and snakes and the most unreliable egotistical people that were so dark you would think they were possessed with Satan himself.

I sat back and looked at a pattern in my life and realized for me AND I REPEAT FOR ME..As long as I WAS LIVING OUTSIDE of my VALUES I was FREE GAME to Parasitic people.

I also realized as soon as I stopped betraying myself I would no longer be a victim of people that live their life with NO VALUES. It took one really HORRIBLE Dark, border line Satanic person I got involved with that went against EVERY FIBER OF MY BEING while being involved with him ignoring every warning sign my body gave that brought me to the place where I said "I WILL NEVER GO THROUGH THIS AGAIN".

 I sat back and made a decision that I would be no one's victim or puppet, I also made peace with my body for being with that person because she HATED HIM "Yes your body has a mind of her own". I had to make peace with God for going against what he wanted for me and choosing "TRASH".  My transition from Kim Bowles, to Traci Kimone (Pen name as an Editor for She Unlimited Magazine), to Kimberly J. Bowles to Kimberly Jessy, was progressive because I was living different aspects of my life out and exploring different aspects of myself.

However when I embraced Kimberly Jessy because I made a decision that I was no longer going to carry a man's name that I barely new and demonstrated in a short time that he was unreliable and not trustworthy when I did meet him that I did not want that energy attached to me. 

Kim Bowles was a name that people LOVED TO ADD Lies and Public Abuse to, Kim Bowles this, Kim Bowles that, NO matter how many degrees I got, Mercedes I bought, Homes I owned, TV shows I was on they would find a way to try and MAME and Destroy that name. I walked away from it. Recently I went across the Internet and came upon post after post of the SAME SICK PEOPLE that are still obsessed with me, MAIMING AND ASSASSINATING the name Kim Bowles. 

I checked in with my body and she said there you are living it up and you have ABANDONED KIM BOWLES and she is a part of you. You dressed up the new name really pretty in Hollywood, and on the Internet and everywhere, off of Kim Bowles back, scars, and tears, but you abandoned Kim Bowles. So I came back and said I got you sister, I love you! I am here. I won't leave you again, and here I am giving Kim Bowles her just due, I am being her mother, sister, confidant, and best friend. I am here to smooth her out, vindicate her, and defend her. After all SHE IS ME.

I realized that I was living the majority of my life outside of my values in the men I dated, the people I hung around and the things I did. When I reconciled my politics, my belief in God, Holistic healing, the kinds of people I wanted in my life I SOARED in finances, love, and career. 

I CREATED my career, since being in California I have not worked 1 person's job, I have worked from home selling my wisdom, my experiences, my skills and packaged them so delightfully that you just can't resist! I never worked in Real Estate In California as some would say, I never owned a home in the state of California as some would subscribe and the people that say this, are people I have not seen in years, would never talk to are not a part of my life and most likely did something crazy to me and got their asses handed to them by me! Yes I said it. As I continue to write in my new KIM BOWLES BLOG, I will share more details. SOON COME!